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Election of 1816 Federalist Funded Satirical Skit (Ryan Colaianni, David Cadden, Salim Alameddin )

Narrator: The following advertisement is funded by the Federalist Party. This satirical skit is an illustration of a false male superiority within the Democratic Republican Party.


Narrator: Welcome to the political meeting of the top American influences of the era. Today we are going to take a close look at the discussions about women’s rights and their ability to be involved with politics.


Thomas Jefferson: Thank you fellow patriots for traveling to Philadelphia to discuss important topics of where our newly established country will be moving in the future. Our first discussion will be on the topic of whether women should be included in an active role in politics.


James Madison: There is not a need to discuss such a frivolous topic because there is no way they have the ability or intelligence to make any political stance within our country.


Alexander Hamilton: Their only role in this country is to raise our children and knit our socks for these cold harsh winters.


Thomas Jefferson: This is very true and the thought of them ever taking any political office makes me fear for the future of this country. It is our duty as men to keep this country in the right hands of male leadership.


Narrator: As the meeting went on, these top American influences showed their resentment of ever having women involved with politics.


Narrator: Meanwhile back at the Jefferson’s residence.


Martha Jefferson: Thomas, make sure you take the trash out before you start playing your politics.


Thomas Jefferson: Yes ma’am

Martha Jefferson: I’ve reviewed our financial position lately and you cannot continue to use the high quality ink of your letters.


Thomas Jefferson: But Martha, it’s my favorite ink!


Martha Jefferson: Due to our budget and monthly income, it would be silly of you to not take this into consideration.


Thomas Jefferson: Yes ma’am, I suppose you know what’s best.


Narrator: As this discussion continued, Martha brought out financial statements of their financial position with an elaborate explanation.


Narrator: Meanwhile back at the Madison residence.


James Madison: Dammit Dolley, have you seen where I put my candle?


Dolley Madison: James, don’t you speak to me that way! They are right where you left them last on the counter. I think you would lose your head if it weren’t attached to your shoulders.


James Madison: I’m sorry and thank you. I don’t know how I would survive without you. Are you meeting up with Mary Wollstonecraft later to discuss your roles in politics?


Dolley Madison: Yes James, I’ll be leaving here in a few hours.


James Madison: Do you have to? You know that’s my friends and I’s favorite game!


Dolley Madison: Yes James, I won’t put up with your attitude either.


James Madison: Yes ma’am


Narrator: A few months later the top American influences met up once again.


Thomas Jefferson: Men, we cannot allow women a role in politics. They are too scary and intimidating.


Narrator: Vote Rufus King for President. He values women’s role in politics.